


I've Got Nothing Here Without You

by sidekikcs



Category: Actor RPF, Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Evanstan - Freeform, M/M, Regret, idk what else to tag it as, it's v sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 03:20:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3675489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidekikcs/pseuds/sidekikcs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris needs to take Sebastian home. Just once more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Got Nothing Here Without You

**Author's Note:**

> ENTIRELY conceived after listening to an Ariana Grande song non-stop for the past week. I have no shame. I love Bad Gal Ari. 
> 
> Porny bits are outweighed by a tiny hint of a plot! How shocking, I write something that isn't meaningless. #shocker

Chris shoves Sebastian up against the wall of the bathroom and covers his mouth with his own, chuckling when he feels Sebastian smile and roll his hips upward. The bar they're at is annoyingly quiet, especially at midnight in New York City, so sneaking away and being secretive was a bit difficult. Chris grips Sebastian's hips and grinds in response to Sebastian, running his fingers through Sebastian's hair.

"If we're gonna do it here, we've gotta make it quick," Sebastian says, digging around in his pockets for his wallet, where he keeps a condom. A bit tacky, but Chris is always appreciative of it.

Chris draws away from him. "I don't want to do it here."

Sebastian quirks his lips. "What do you mean?"

Chris drops his head, tapping his foot against the floor. He shrugs, looking back up at Sebastian, then shaking his head. "Never mind."

"Your body language says something different," Sebastian says, running his hands up at down Chris' back. "What's wrong?"

"I... I want to head back to my apartment."

Sebastian drops his hands, his shoulders slump, he lets out a low sigh, then clears his throat. "You know I can't do that."

Chris blinks, shaking his head. "No, I know, that's-that's why said 'never mind'."

"You know that I want to, too."

"Yeah."

"Chris, c'mon," Sebastian says, stepping forward and resting his hand on Chris' chest. "We were having fun."

"We're always having fun. It never lasts."

"Don't be like that."

“Well!” Chris says, throwing his arms up. He sighs, frustrated, and rubs his face. “It’s true! I can’t… I can’t-”

“You’re overthinking it way too much,” Sebastian says, trying to keep his cool, grabbing Chris and pulling him closer. “Just… we’ll deal with the specifics later. Let’s just… be with each other, for now.” Sebastian places his hand on Chris’ chest and fiddles with his necklace, trailing his thumb over the lettering on the St. Christopher pendant.

Chris covers Sebastian’s hand with his own. Sebastian looks up at him. “How am I supposed to… how are we supposed to do this when we both know that there’s, well, something else on your mind?”

Sebastian smiles, trying to be warm but coming off as pitiful. “There’s only one thing, one person, on my mind right now. You.”

It’s definitely false, but Chris kisses him anyway, then grabs his hands. “If I’m the only thing on your mind, then… can we please go back to my place? I know… I know that you…” Chris purses his lips. “I can make it worth it, whatever happens. I’ll make it worth your while.”

Sebastian stares at him, weighing the pros and cons in his mind. He knows he’ll be in deep shit if he doesn’t go home that night, he’ll probably be single if he stays at Chris’, but he can’t help himself. He nods and grabs Chris’ hand, pulling him toward the door. They make their way through the crowd and out onto the streets, where they let go of each other and walk to Chris’ place.

* * *

 

Sebastian pushes Chris onto the bed, swing his legs over Chris’ waist. Chris reaches up and tugs at the hem of Sebastian's shirt. Sebastian rips it off and throws it to the floor where it lands on top of Chris’ shirt. Sebastian leans forward and Chris leans up to meet his kiss, softly trailing his fingers up and down Sebastian’s body. Sebastian melts into it and feels his body start getting lower and lower, closer to Chris’ warmth.

Chris’ hands go lower and grip Sebastian’s ass, who giggles. Chris smiles and spanks him gently.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Chris says jokingly.

Sebastian sighs. “I’m not.” He smiles and goes back to kissing Sebastian. Chris reaches down again and unbuckles Sebastian’s belt, unzipping his jeans and pushing them. Without disconnecting from Chris’ lips, Sebastian lifts his legs and kicks them off the rest of the way.

“Nice legs, babe,” Chris says.

“That’s… an oddly specific thing to find sexy.”

“It’s not the only thing I think is sexy on your body.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes, backs off of Chris a little so he can unzip his own pants and Sebastian helps him take them off the rest of the way. He kisses up Chris’ thighs, up his stomach and chest, then his lips. Chris hooks his fingers under the band of Sebastian’s boxers and pulls them down. Sebastian reciprocates, tossing Chris’ underwear clear across the room. Chris laughs at him and grabs the back of his neck, kissing him again.

“Where’s the… the stuff?” Sebastian pants, grinding his hips against Chris. Chris moans and points to his dresser, which now had Chris’ underwear hanging off one of the drawers.

“It’s where it always is,” Chris says.

Sebastian groans and rolls off of Chris, complaining that he needs to move it closer to the bed. Chris keeps his eyes glued to Sebastian as he walks back over to the bed, with a condom (he’d forgotten to grab his own condom from his pants before Chris took them off) and lube, plopping them onto Chris’ stomach. He immediately grabs Chris’ dick and tugs on it, which halts Chris’ movements. He sighs and tilts his head back, but Sebastian taps his hip.

“Don’t slack off, soldier.”

Chris laughs and picks up the lube again, slicking up his finger and reaching behind Sebastian, who lets go of Chris’ dick and crawls up his chest, tucking his head into the crook of Chris’ neck. Chris pushes his finger into Sebastian and he shifts a little, settles down and closes his eyes. Chris pumps his finger in and out, until Sebastian grunts and says, “I’m good. Another.”

Chris laughs and kisses his cheek, then lubes up another finger and pushes it back into Sebastian. Sebastian reaches down and teases the head of Chris’ cock with his thumb. Chris makes an odd sound and shoves his fingers deep into Sebastian, who cries out and swallows, saying breathlessly, “That’s enough, just do it.”

Chris grab the condom and rips the packet open, carefully rolling the condom onto his cock, while Sebastian repositions himself. When Chris is ready, Sebastian adds more lube and strokes Chris’ cock a little, then lowers his body, squeezing his eyes and rolling his head back.

Chris grabs his hand and leads Sebastian back down while he begins thrusting, kissing Sebastian’s neck while Sebastian moans above him. He tightens a little and Chris almost loses it at that alone, almost starts pounding up into him, but Sebastian isn’t totally ready for that yet, so Chris keeps his pace.

But then Sebastian tells him to go faster, harder, so he complies and snaps his hips up and down, one hand on the back of Sebastian’s neck and the other gripping Sebastian’s hand tight. Sebastian moves with Chris and whines into his skin, begging Chris for more.

Chris can only give him so much, though, and Sebastian’s okay with that. It’s more than enough to drive him crazy.

It feels like their own little world, but then it’s over all too quickly, and Sebastian is hunched over, crying out into Chris’ shoulder as he comes and Chris is right behind him, clutching Sebastian to his chest and kissing his neck and shoulders. He pulls out of Sebastian, who makes a small noise of pain in response, then pulls off, ties, and tosses the condom to the trashcan in the corner of the room. Sebastian grabs his shirt from the floor and starts dabbing at Chris’s chest and his own groin, wiping off the come.

“The fact that you used your shirt to wipe off that come is going to be extremely obvious,” Chris chuckles.

“I’ll borrow one of yours.”

Chris rubs Sebastian’s back, and Sebastian pulls the sheets over the two of them.

“It’s worth it,” Sebastian says, but Chris doesn’t have time to respond, because he’s stuck on what to say and Sebastian’s already out like a light.

Chris lets it go and rests his head on the pillow, reaching up and turning off his lamp.

* * *

Chris awakens to the sound of Sebastian pulling on his jeans, swearing at himself and grabbing his shirt.

“Sebas-”

“Don’t talk to me.”

Sebastian’s voice is deep and stern, and it makes Chris sit up. “What’s-”

“I shouldn’t have come here,” Sebastian says, walking over to Chris’ closet and grabbing a shirt.

“But-”

“No!” Sebastian shouts, pulling on Chris’ shirt. “I told her- I promised that I wouldn’t do this again. Now I’ve- fuck, I’ve fucked it all up, fuck.”

“Calm-”

“Do not tell me to calm down,” Sebastian seeths. “If you hadn’t guilt-tripped me into coming here, I would’ve been home at a decent time and- and she wouldn’t…”

“I’m sure you can explain-”

“She already knows! She already knows I’m here! Where the hell else would I be?”

Chris frowns. He gets out of bed and pulls on a pair of sweatpants as Sebastian slams the door to Chris’ room.

Chris follows him out to the living room and grabs his arm. “Wait, Seb.”

“I might be single now! Do you understand that? This is probably it! It’s done! And I’m gonna get kicked out of the damn apartment, I’m gonna have to find somewhere else to live now.”

Chris shook his head. “It’s gonna be fine, she won’t-”

“What the hell are you going on about?” Sebastian growls. “I’m sure you’d love it if we broke up.”

Chris furrows his brows. “I would never wish that on you. I never have.”

“Bullshit,” Sebastian spits. “I should never have let you convince me to do this.”

“It’s one night-”

“I never should have started this in the first place!” Sebastian says. “I never should’ve fucked you at all!”

Chris steps back. “I-... what?”

“This was a mistake. All this, every night, it’s a mistake.”

Chris is frozen, staring at Sebastian, shaking his head gently. “No, y-you don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

“Stop.”

“I shouldn’t have ever looked at you as more than a friend.”

Chris blinks away the water in his eyes. “Then fucking leave.”

Sebastian spins on his heel and walks to the door. “This is the last time, Chris. I mean it.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Why the hell should I care about you, when you don’t-”

Sebastian cuts him off and looks back at him. “Don’t say I don’t care about you. I fucking love you, but I can’t.”

“Why not?!” Chris says, laughing bitterly. “Why the hell not?”

“I love her, too.”

“Then you don’t love me.”

“I do. I definitely do.”

“You can’t be in love with two people at once, Sebastian.”

“Then I guess I’m a rare case. I know you love me, too. But it-... it won’t work anymore. I can’t lose her.”

Chris swallows the lump in his throat and says bitterly, “But you’re fine with losing me.”

Sebastian doesn’t respond, but he does try to find the words to formulate a response. Chris shakes his head.

“Forget it. Just… just go.”

“I don’t want to end it like this.”

“I understand why you can’t leave her, okay?” Chris says quietly. “She gives you everything, I can’t really give you anything. I understand.”

“That’s not true, Chris. You give me so much.”

“Please leave,” Chris says, turning away from him.

Sebastian watches him for a long moment. “Chris-”

“GO.”

Sebastian breaks a little when he hears the strain in Chris’ voice, but he doesn’t say anything about it.

“I don’t want us to… to hate each other, now,” Sebastian says.

Chris sniffles. “I don’t hate you.”

Sebastian blinks and opens the door.

“The last time?” Chris asks, his back still turned to Sebastian.

Sebastian glances back and nods. “Y-Yes. This… it’s done, now.”

Chris’ fist clenches. Sebastian sees it and almost walks over to him, but decides to, instead, say, “I do love you, Chris. But. It’s just… easier this way. For both of us.”

“Please,” Chris whimpers. “Please, just go.”

The broken voice that comes squeaking out of Chris is enough to break Sebastian, too, who covers his mouth and sobs quietly as the door shuts behind him.

****  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> So...
> 
> I put this in an automatic editor app and it basically said that it sucked, but I hope you all liked it!


End file.
